"That has been a wild ride. Those of you who are familiar with the situation, I got tired of the lies and manipulation. I really cut ties, went "no-contact" on 11 Sept (total coincidence). I haven't said anything to him since. He's certainly attempted to communicate with me. But he has heard nothing from me since. I did what I had to do in order to stay safe. Hopefully, with the help of the authorities, this chapter of my life will be closed soon."
So here's the timeline:
September 11: I went no-contact. I told him I was done with his lies, drama, and manipulations. I asked he not contact me again, either directly or by a third party or I would get a protective order.
He responded with over 75 messages (through various avenues) over the course of the next hour and a half. If they had been "Baby, I'm sorry- what can I do to make it right?" I might have let it slide.. I just might have even replied. But they weren't. "If you do that, I'll make your life a living hell...." Several curse words were used gratuitously, name calling, threats, accusations, scary claims that he would find me and hurt me....*
September 12: I got a protective order. I didn't expect that piece of paper to change his behavior and I was right- it didn't. But I knew it was the beginning of a paper trail I was fully willing to follow as far as I needed to in order to be safe and free of him.
September 14: He was served. He sent me three emails an hour after he was served. And I reported it.
September 21: The temporary protective order was made permanent and he was served that day.... Because he was in jail on an unrelated charge.
September 23: I made another police report. This was actually the third police report I had made. The first two had been about his violating the protective order. That is a misdemeanor, and because we were in different states, neither state would do anything about it. This time, though, I spoke with a deputy who informed me that "attempting to force someone to do something against their will, while holding something over their heads is a felony..." Like extortion or blackmail? Yep. Very interesting! She came over and we talked. She took pictures of my screenshots**. She got a felony warrant- extraditable.
September 25: He was arrested through cooperation between his probation officer and the local police. I've had blissful peace since!!
*Note: This kind of communication happened every day for the two weeks between my request for no-contact and his arrest. He threatened to find me, kidnap me, hurt me, and kill me. He demanded I block certain friends, respond to his communication, and put on the engagement ring he had given me. He claimed to be watching me in person, to have hacked my accounts and was watching what I did online and on my phone, and to have drugged me at one point before I left!
**Note: I took screenshots of everything he did- texts, Facebook messages, emails, call logs, Pinterest messages, etc. I saved them to my computer. I sent them to a trusted friend who also saved them. And I gave them to the police each time I made a report. A copy is also on a flash drive held by another trusted friend.
October 7: He was extradited to my state/county. It had me a little panicked when I found out he was just down the road.. but I'm ok with him being in the local Greybar Hotel. He hasn't contacted me since!
November 15: I contacted his
December 12: Plea hearing. He accepted the plea deal offered by the prosecution and plead guilty to one felony count of stalking. Everything else was dropped (not exactly happy about this, but ok). His sentencing hearing will be on February 6th and could result in prison time, jail time, a halfway house, or probation. I'll keep y'all posted. I felt it was appropriate to wait until after he had entered his plea before I posted this update. He still has 3-5 years of prison waiting for him in Utah (for violating probation on unrelated charges) when he's done with his sentence here. I'm sad for those who love him and have been relying on him. But I'm glad that he's away. He can't hurt anyone where he is.
