General Update- Details Part 3

So three weeks ago, I gave a general update. First on the update was that I realized that my boyfriend was abusive. Second was that I moved. Third will be covered at a later date, but this week, I'll cover the last section of that update. As a refresher from that post:
"I've been applying to all kinds of places since I got here in August. I found a (VERY) part-time job that helped cover some things. But honestly, it wasn't enough. I'm grateful for friends who have helped out. I've kept a ledger of what I owe you. Thank you for both your generosity and your patience in my paying you back. With a decent cash-flow, I can pay back those who have helped me these last couple months. Then save up for a decent car (Christmas maybe?). Next, pay off my freaking student loan! That's gonna be a while, though."

Since writing that post, I've found full-time work. It's through a temp agency, but as a general rule, the company I'm assigned to uses this method for their regular full-time hiring process.

Anyway, I'm an order-picker. Our clients call or enter their order online or whatever. And that order is processed, printed into a packet we call a dispatch. The dispatch includes part numbers, lot numbers, quantities, and bin locations. ... Yes, loads of numbers! And I have to match them exactly, no transposition, no alterations... unless that lot isn't available.

But there's a procedure if we are out of a lot. Check the assigned bin location, check the flex area (there's a half a dozen bin locations that are regularly unassigned), check the computer. If that lot is out of stock, then we can amend the dispatch.

Anyway, I get the dispatch and pick it- walk through the warehouse and collect all the parts in the correct lots, required quantities... and bring the whole thing to the labeling room to be labeled for the client, then the whole order gets taken to packaging to be prepared for shipping.

By the way, I was curious, so I downloaded and installed a pedometer on my phone. I get an average of 10k steps every day! TEN THOUSAND!

Best part: I'm getting a regular paycheck. It's every week, so it's both smaller and more often than I'm used to. When I get hired on permanent, the transition to every two weeks may be a little rough, but I figure if I plan ahead, make sure bills are paid ahead a little, put a little in savings for gas and groceries, I'll be ok.

General Update- Details Part 2

So two weeks ago, I gave a general update. First on the update was that I realized that my boyfriend was abusive. As a refresher from that post:
"I was able to get help packing my belongings and moved 600 miles away. I've lived here before, so there were old friends I got to see. But it's not like having your own space."

So, because he was emotionally abusive, called me That Word, I moved. Well, there were other things. I found messages that showed he was dealing drugs again. And he was sexting another woman.

I wish I had taken screenshots. But I'm kind of glad I didn't.

I found the sexting on July 30, around 6 or 9pm. I contacted someone from my church, asking for help packing b/c my home was an unsafe place (because he had threatened, "Snitches get stitches, you know"). The next day, I had 5-15 people at my house at any given time, packing, staging boxes out by the gate in the back yard. We took a break at 1 to go get a truck... which took an hour- ugh!

We loaded the truck, strapped my car to the dolly, and my best friend and I drove out of the driveway at 3:05, 25 minutes before he was going to be home.

We spent that night at her house. I parked the moving truck at the church nearby, and slept on her couch. The next morning, July 31, we left about 10am, and drove through the day. I kept in contact with the church leaders here, as they were planning to help unload the truck when we arrived. We got here about midnight, and just crashed out! Slept until we were done.

August 1, we got up, and made arrangements with our moving help to unload at the storage shed, and at the house.

I took a day to just breathe and sent my dear best friend home.

Actual photo of me and my best friend... I'm on the left.

Then I started job hunting. Ugh! I really do hate job hunting!

I found one position, but it was more on-call than full-time. My first day on the job....

To be continued!

General Update- Details Part 1

So last week, I gave a general update. First on the update was that I realized that my boyfriend was abusive. As a refresher from last week:
"See, back when I was in high school and we were learning about domestic violence, date rape, and the like, I promised myself I would never stay with someone who abused me. Of course, physical abuse was all that I really thought about.... But this last July, I realized my boyfriend was emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse is SOOOOO hard to recognize!!! Like my dad says about carbon monoxide poisoning, "It's hard to be aware of something that causes reduced awareness." Emotional abuse reduces the victim's ability to recognize the very abuse they're being subjected to."

Remember this post? Watch the video. I tried finding it on Youtube. It's not there anymore. But watch the video.

The relationship was rocky from the start. He lead out with a lie, and a pretty big one at that. I believed him. Do I blame my own lack of due diligence? Do I blame his (eventually proven) habitual dishonesty? Eh, some of both, I think. But I forgave him... and regret it. I should have tossed him out on his ear!

Because the lying just continued.

Then there were the fights. He would pick fights all the time. And of course, his solution was always to leave. Never to stay and talk it out. Nope, just leave. Because that solves everything!

And the protocols, my word. There were things he wanted me to do, because "It's just the little things that really make a relationship..." and "It's because I love you and worry about you..." and because he's insecure. At least that's what I thought at first.*

And the baseless accusations of cheating. Every time I wasn't where he thought I should be or doing what he thought I should be doing, or didn't respond to his texts and phone calls fast enough, the only possible reason was because I was cheating. He couldn't imagine any other reason I wouldn't answer right away. It certainly couldn't be because I ran into a coworker at the grocery store.. or I left my phone in the living room while I went to the bathroom.. or maybe I was talking with a friend so he got a busy signal... noooo!! I must be cheating! *eye-rolling

Eventually, the emotional abuse- the accusations, the controlling demands, the guilt trips and pity parties... He escalated just after Independence Day this last summer and called me a whore.

So it was a day or two later, and I was thinking about it, and realized "That's not ok. It's abusive. I'm leaving...." and started considering possible resources and options. I began formulating a plan immediately. There was no deliberation, no wondering if it was the right thing to do. It was simply the thing to do.

Ironically, my original plan was to move on my birthday in early October. I figured I could pull together money for a moving truck by then. But then I found out he was back to his illegal ways. That made me furious! He was on probation for this stuff. Sure, he had already issued a veiled threat- "Snitches get stitches.. and I've been the one to give them stitches..." So now I have to decide between him and my own safety... and my integrity! Oh, I was FURIOUS!!!

Then I found the sexting conversations. Yes, he was sexting with another woman. Ironically, this wasn't the first. Back in October 2017, he had been talking to an old friend from another state, had all but proposed to her, "That just makes me fall more and more in love with you... I want to put a ring on that finger.".. Mmhm!! No wonder she won't talk to him now. I entirely understand!

So between the ramp-up on the emotional abuse, the recidivism back to his old ways, and the cheating, I was beyond done! I found some help and I was gone in 24 hours!

Watch for next week's details on moving!

A General Update on My Life

A lot has happened in the last couple months.

I realized my boyfriend was abusive, and began planning to move.
See, back when I was in high school and we were learning about domestic violence, date rape, and the like, I promised myself I would never stay with someone who abused me. Of course, physical abuse was all that I really thought about.... But this last July, I realized my boyfriend was emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse is SOOOOO hard to recognize!!! Like my dad says about carbon monoxide poisoning, "It's hard to be aware of something that causes reduced awareness." Emotional abuse reduces the victim's ability to recognize the very abuse they're being subjected to.


So I ended up moving from my cute little house.
I was able to get help packing my belongings and moved 600 miles away. I've lived here before, so there were old friends I got to see. But it's not like having your own space.


I cut ties with said boyfriend.
That has been a wild ride. Those of you who are familiar with the situation, I got tired of the lies and manipulation. I realized cut ties, went "no-contact" on 11 Sept. I haven't said anything to him since. He's certainly attempted to communicate with me. But he heard nothing from me. I did what I had to do in order to stay safe. Hopefully, with the help of the authorities, this chapter of my life will be closed soon.

I've finally found work!!
I've been applying to all kinds of places since I got here in August. I found a (VERY) part-time job that helped cover some things. But honestly, it wasn't enough. I'm grateful for friends who have helped out. I've kept a ledger of what I owe you. Thank you for both your generosity and your patience in my paying you back. With a decent cash-flow, I can pay back those who have helped me these last couple months. Then save up for a decent car (Christmas maybe?). Next, pay off my freaking student loan! That's gonna be a while, though.

I think in the next couple weeks, I'm going to be going into more depth about each of these. So stay tuned! ;) and Happy Halloween!