Decision Time

As you know, there's a HUGE decision coming up for the people of this nation. And when I say huge, I mean history-making!!! Here's my take-two of the current candidates.

There is one candidate who says that while he knows chances of him winning are worse than betting against the house in Vegas, his next-best goal would be to block the two major candidates from getting enough electoral votes to take the prize. Wait. So he knows he won't win. But he's gonna waste his time and energy, others' time and energy.. and everyone's money by pushing to be on the ballot.

Is anyone thinking about what would actually happen if his plan worked? As the Constitution is written, if no candidate get enough electoral votes, the decision would then be made by the House of Representatives. This is a group of 432 men and women who (hopefully, but not guaranteed) will vote what their constituents want, and what is best for this nation. Look through the list. How much do you trust your state's Representatives?

So there's him.

There's the other independent.. and while he's probably pretty consistent to his party platform, there's enough of that platform that is socialist that I'm not comfortable with him either.

Then there's the lady.. does she deserve that title? Anyway, the female candidate- she's got a list of scandals and skeletons miles long! Fired for being unethical, disbarred, suspicious deaths, death threats, other threats and intimidations, protecting and defending predators, violating security protocols, withholding aid from our servicemen, even spilling a national security secret on live national television.

Yes, she claims to have "fought for children and families for 40 years and counting," but she defended a man accused of raping a 12-year-old, a child. She knew he did it, that he was guilty, and chose to defend him anyway, re-brutalizing his victim. She has also supported a national-level curriculum standard, contrary to both the best interest of American kids, and the Constitution.

She says she helped move forward the causes of women's rights and LGBT rights. While she may have spoken in support of them from the stage, her other behavior and financial support has not indicated true dedication to those causes, at least from my perspective. Supporting women in their God-given roles has not happened, at least not from her.

She repeatedly violated federal law by short cutting key security protocols and exposed the nation to untold risks. And when the FBI recently re-opened the case, she asked that the evidence be made public. Anyone who has dealt with the courts, especially high-profile cases, knows that it's a bad idea to openly and publicly discuss specifics of an ongoing investigation!

I could go on, but you get my point.

And there is the businessman. There are accusations that he closed employees' 401Ks and other savings/retirement accounts, stealing their money. I'll give you "unethical." Was it illegal? Other accusations of sexual assault have recently come forward, years, even decades after the alleged assaults. (Trigger warning.. ugh, I can't believe I'm even saying that!) I find these accusations questionable, not just for the timing, but also for the accusers' backgrounds. Many of these accusers have been found to be bought and paid for by the female's campaign, and "charity."

He has revitalized communities, employing thousands, and hired women for management positions. He has personally assisted hundreds of people who have found themselves in difficult times. He has amassed a fortune.. and lost it, and amassed it again and again. He understands how to win people over and has refined the art of negotiation throughout his adulthood.

He doesn't (past and present) drink, smoke, or do drugs, either. Very unusual for someone as celebrity as he is!

Yes, he's brash and loud and full of himself.. and I still have serious reservations about how well he will be able to work with Congress. (Maybe that negotiation skill will come in handy?)

But of the options available, I think he's our best bet to fix what has been done to this nation in the last 8 years. The majority of those problems are actually things he's proven to be good at fixing.

I am not telling you how you should vote- rather I am telling you why I'm voting the way I am.

Some Thoughts on Agency

Had a conversation with a friend...

"The trick is going to be my being ok with his lack of interest in fixing the portions of his dysfunctions that he does have power over."

See, we all have dysfunctions. Some of those dysfunctions, we can fix (with/without help, medication, counseling, etc). And some of those dysfunctions- there's just no helping them.

Sometimes the dysfunction is something that is simply something you're gonna have to live with. Then it becomes a matter of how you choose to live with it that makes the difference.

The other day, I ran into a older (in her 50s?) single woman from the other neighborhood. She has never married. And she's ok with that. There are a number of older never-married women in that neighborhood, actually. And I'm grateful for their example. They've chosen to do something besides wallow and pity-party their lives away. They've built careers, lives, networks of friends, and made good use of the opportunity to be wonderful influences in the lives of the people around them.

He has some dysfunctions.

Some, he can do something about- he can change his attitudes and behavior patterns and completely alleviate those problems in his life.

Other dysfunctions can't be completely removed from his life. They're going to take time and attitude adjustments to cope with.

I can't MAKE him change his attitude and paradigm.

I can't MAKE him acknowledge his fault.

I can't MAKE those changes happen.

And I need to get to where I'm ok with his choices. I'm getting there.

The Ring

Recently, I saw an article about a new women's jewelry trend. I thought it was kind of interesting, especially given my current situation.

While I didn't have the funds for The Ring, I did find one that I liked, and got it.

So here's my vow:
Trust- I will honor the gifts God has given me by trusting my intellect and gut instinct in all my decisions. If I get a bad feeling about a thing, I will trust it and act on it.

Love- I will show myself love by not taking myself too seriously and enjoying my inner child. I will show love by cutting myself slack on a regular basis. I will be kind and my self-talk will reflect gentleness. I am doing the best I can, and nothing more can be expected. I am enough.

Respect- I will show respect for myself and my body by exercising, eating right, and getting enough rest. I will respect my limits and not over-commit, double-book, or otherwise spread myself so thin that my contributions are compromised.

Where Does "Judgmental" Come From?

I was thinking random thoughts recently and the word, "judgmental" came to mind. I started rolling over that word, and what drives one's judgmental views of others?

And I came up with two things, both, interestingly, related to pride or arrogance.

1) Judgmental assumes that the source-individual of the sentiment (the one being judgmental) has sufficient information to fairly and accurately pass judgment on the situation. This is usually painfully clear to the recipient of the sentiment. Jill's neighbor, Bob, can't possibly know her situation, why she chooses to home-school her children. Mariam, Anthony's coworker can't possibly know what trials Anthony has been dealing with at home that drive him to want to end his marriage. "You don't know my situation like I do... you can't."

2) Judgment assumes that the source-individual is better suited for decision-making than the individual on the receiving end. As a dispassionate third-party, they feel that they are able to make more rational and logical decisions.

But these expressions of pride are exactly that- pride, arrogance, knowledge built on the sand of pomposity... and we all know that song!

The Foolish Man built his house upon the sand...

So what to do about people who get judgmental about your choices???

In my experience, for me, I remember that they're talking from a place of ignorance. They don't know the necessary facts on which to make a sound decision.

Council...

Recently, I found myself in a difficult situation. I wasn't happy about where I was. It was downright crappy! But there were people there who were in a more difficult situation.

One was a man at rock bottom. At least that's how he felt. He knew he'd made some truly horrible choices, and his life was going down the swirly real fast!

But I saw hope for him, even though he didn't:

• Sure, he'd hurt others, but he felt tremendous guilty about the damage his choices had brought them. He still has a functioning conscience! There's hope!
• He has young kids that he wants to be around for. He's got motivation!

And I told him so. He's scared of being sober and clean, but I told him that he's got what it takes. He can to it. Yeah, it'll be hell getting there, but it can be done.

To this man, I want to say...
Hon, if you ever see this, I hope what I said gave you hope for your future.
And thank you for sharing your situation and your fears with me, for trusting a total stranger with your vulnerability. That isn't easy, especially for someone in your situation. Remember, you can do this! Keep your littles, your motivation in your mind.
It's gonna be hard, but you CAN do this!!!