Sunday, March 19, 2017


A lot of people think I'm strong. So many have told me that I'm strong and amazing and brilliant and beautiful and independent.

I'm not strong. I'm weak. I'm insecure, afraid, resentful, desperate, anxious, hurt, angry. I'm not beautiful or sexy- I'm plain, basic, even dorky.

I feel powerless, inferior, less-than.

I can't have children. My first husband sabotaged us financially, and my second husband orchestrated a situation that makes it impossible now for me to have the opportunity to adopt or foster any time in the near (or possibly far) future.

I'm underemployed, behind on my bills, in at least $1500 debt, and living with my parents.

I want so much more. I want to support myself. I want to have my own place. I want a relationship- a man who thinks the world of me.

But what do I have to offer?

I'm told I'm all these things. I'm not. I wonder...

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