Sunday, March 5, 2017

Baggage

Every time I think about it, I get angry. I feel betrayed. I feel rejected and neglected. I feel like I was set up.

I did things , made arrangements to try to protect myself- my physical safety, my emotional stability, my mental clarity.

And those things were completely sabotaged and destroyed. I was flayed and laid bare. I was raw.

I tried to get away to get peace and space to heal. And even that wasn't allowed me.

I became desperate, like a cornered animal, driven to find a safe place.

I was trapped attacked and I was served up to those in power, with no compassion or understanding, or even awareness, to be to be bruised, beaten, and used.

And there's no consequences on the other side. This has costed me money and my employment, both current and future. It has costed me my freedoms and rights. I have lost options and opportunities. And there's nothing I can do to get closure, or justice for what was done to me over the course of years.

I'm not renting out space in my head and heart... at least not on purpose. But these things are still very much a part of my life. There is no getting away from the fallout of the manipulation and abuse. I'm stuck with them.

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