Sunday, July 15, 2012

I'm So Sorry

The tricky part of long-distance relationships is that they're not entirely real.

While Niecy may have different values and standards, there is a lot of truth to what she says... particularly number four:
The relationship isn't really grounded in reality. There are things that can't be seen when your only contact is IM or Skype or phone calls. Sometimes people are less than full-disclosure honest. Sometimes there are behaviors or behavior patterns that can't entirely be understood until lived with. There are some things we don't really know about ourselves, so we're unable to be honest about them.

So what do you do when you relocate and things turn out to be not quite as they appeared? How do you handle it when you love the other person, but you know in your heart of hearts that someone won't be happy.

Prayer. Make sure you check that ending things is for the best.

More prayer. Ask for guidance in breaking the news gently- location, setting, tone, word choice, behaviors.

Do it. Rip the bandage off. Make it as clean a break as you can, and do it as soon as possible- the other party rarely appreciates a pity-lie.

Compassion. Don't be a jerk- be gentle, be patient, don't rub things in their face, and don't cast blame

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I wish things were different. I'm so sorry.

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