Sunday, September 18, 2011

"You're Better Than That"

We’ve all heard the saying, “A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a really good friend will be sitting beside you.…” While that may be true, I’d like to take it a step further. A truly valuable friend will call you on your shit… and if you’re wise, you heed that call, and choose to learn and grow from it.

It’s not always pleasant getting called on the carpet for your stupid choices. “The wicked take the truth to be hard.” It’s uncomfortable at best. It’s embarrassing, awkward, and often humiliating! But it can also be a humbling and growing experience.



I called a family member on some stuff a while back, “You’re better than this,” on a rather mean-spirited FB thread. I must have offended her. I noticed that I wasn’t seeing posts from her on my wall. I checked, and she’d removed me from her friend list.

So… Should I have said nothing? Should I have allowed her to continue in her downward spiral? Am I still expected to be my “brother’s keeper”…? Maybe I should have said it differently?

Here’s the thing though, when we hear this same sentiment from leaders, we just eat it up-
“We live far beneath our privilege.”
… but when the same message comes from a friend, an equal.. or if the message comes from someone “beneath” us (younger, a subordinate at work, etc), how do we handle it? I know I don’t always handle that with the humility I should. I bristle, “Mind your own business…” or “My life isn’t your stewardship.”

What about you? How do you handle being called out?